Lullabies
by SasuHiroki
Summary: He chose lust over love and lost his happiness. Naruto x Sasuke. Shounen-ai. Rated T for referred and mentioned character death and a little profanity.


_A/N: I guess this is set in a sort of... an AU-Konoha, but they're still ninjas. I have no idea. I didn't really plan that out. Anyway, this was inspired by Lullabies by All Time Low. _

_I don't really like how I wrote this, but I have nothing I could or really want to change. I guess it could be because I wrote the second half about half a year after I started the story. Reviews and comments welcome._

**Lullabies**

"_Hey, Sasuke, wait up!" Naruto chased after the raven haired boy walking several metres ahead of him. Childish laughter rang in the air as the blonde pounced on his turning prey, the singing delight becoming contagious._

How could this have gone so wrong? The exact same spiky blonde hair was almost a transparent, pale yellow in the bright white moonlight trained on it. The face it belonged to was creased in quite obvious discomfort, tracks of dried salty liquid staining the tan skin – very different from the illuminating angelic smiling face of the past.

"_You bastard! I fucking hate you! You're ruining my goddamn life! It's always about you… it's always fucking about you!" Screams were echoing throughout the scarcely furnished room, where there were more broken belongings than unbroken. A bottle smashed on the wall behind blood-soaked golden hair. _

"_Don't let yourself get in over your head," a quiet voice rang out over the almost ear splitting rage and violent air about the two. Black hair, seemingly darker than ever, turned and exited the demolished room, the power at which he slammed the door forcing a strong crack almost to the centre of the inexpensive wood. The sound of an angry sob was inaudible below the breaking of the timber._

The moonlight didn't waver as the boy's cerulean eyes shot open and he bolted upright. Anguished crystalline tears made their silent journey towards the base of his face, as he doubled over, hushed sobs wracking his body violently. His fingers dug painfully into his sides, while the drops of his torment fell haphazardly, soaking into the bedcovers.

This was becoming a common occurrence at night. Ever since Naruto was left heartbreakingly alone, he'd cry himself to sleep, slumber unsoundly, and wake himself up with more tears; ever since they fought; ever since his lifeline left.

He and Sasuke were the best of friends, who became hesitant and curious lovers. While things were good, they floated on the clouds, but when the denial set in, and the teenage curiosity that originally sparked their relationship turned to the new pretty girl in town, things balanced precariously on the rocks.

_Two teenage boys sat alone on a deserted hill, bathed in orange sunset. "It's no big deal, Sasuke. I mean, we are only doing this out of curiosity, right? And plus, she's really hot!"Naruto grinned mischievously, running his hand through his unruly hair. Sasuke's eyes gave nothing away as they raked over the blonde's face, his beautiful golden locks, and the surprisingly gentle hand that lay amongst the silken tangles._

_The raven plastered a smirk on his handsome face. "Isn't flirting with someone else while you're already in a relationship considered cheating?" He knew that if he said it with a smirk, Naruto wouldn't suspect anything since the blonde wasn't perceptive enough to figure out any deeper meaning behind his carefully chosen disposition._

_Naruto made an exaggerated facial contortion, "Temeeee," he whined, knowing that Sasuke was fully aware he was only kidding around with this remark. And as if to prove this point, Sasuke tipped Naruto's beaming face up to his to lock their lips. _

Although Sasuke had never actually given Naruto a straight out answer, he'd always expected the blonde to have the sense to be faithful. But when he caught Naruto and the pretty new girl embraced behind a large tree, his trust in the boisterous boy completely fell.

_Naruto gazed wide-eyed ahead of him, where a stormy-expressioned, dark-haired male stood. "Sa- Sasuke!" he gasped, immediately yanking his hands away from the body weighed atop him as though it would erase the past and what had been done. "Th- This- I- I- I can explain!" Naruto stuttered, trying to find the words that would make Sasuke listen to his reason. The Uchiha just sent him a piercing look and walked back to his apartment. He knew Naruto would follow and let himself in with the key he possessed._

Naruto held so much regret for his actions. If he could have gone back in time, he wouldn't have let himself be misled by such lust. The grief he encountered every night was like a cruel punishment for the tactless desire he'd given in to, and for the oblivious nature which had gotten him into such trouble with the calculative and secretive raven.

_He will come back, there's no doubt about it. He'll definitely come back. _Naruto had convinced himself of this. He'd remained in the same curled position since the door had slammed shut, silently waiting for Sasuke to return. It was the raven's apartment, and there was already too much in their past that kept them tied, so the blonde assumed the Uchiha couldn't have left him. After he was shown how wrong he was, Naruto abhorred his stupidity.

_Frustrated azure eyes decided to search for their onyx counterpart. Usually they would hold a stubborn grudge for a few days, but this was one situation where they realised that method wouldn't help them gain the favour in the slightest. Naruto first checked his own apartment, hoping that his other half would be waiting for him. As false hope goes, he wasn't. Several other possible locations were glanced over by frantic, cloudy blue eyes. "Crap, Sasuke. Where the hell are you?" Naruto, at that point in time, didn't care for the fact that he was in public with his dishevelled appearance. His hair was coloured a rusty bronze and he was covered in blood and bruises. Suddenly, one distinct location occurred to the blonde, and like a madman, he set off, leaving puzzled and condescending looks in his wake._

_Their hill. The place where they'd spent a large part of their time together, and where no one else visited as regularly as they did. It was a fair distance from the main part of the village, but still part of Konoha's furthermost boundaries. Blood buzzing nervously in his veins, Naruto prayed to God that Sasuke was there. If he wasn't, Naruto would have no other place of hope to find him._

_His edgy eyes scanned over the expanse land and he was initially relieved as they became set on familiar spiky, raven-hair. "Sas-" He froze, mid-exclamation, when his mind began to process the sight before him and his heart plummeted far past his stomach. There was red; too much red. The bright crimson liquid of life contrasted strikingly with the abnormal deathly paleness of Sasuke's skin. The raven was naturally pale, but this pale couldn't even come close to being called 'natural'. Oxygen seemed to be sparse as Naruto gasped for the air an unknown force seemed to be denying him._

The frail looking chest, once strong, heaved desperately. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" After Sasuke was gone, nothing mattered. Food didn't matter; Naruto had stopped consuming even his much loved ramen. Water didn't matter; the blonde had been hospitalised for dehydration several times after passing out at training sessions. Life didn't matter, and the golden-haired boy was wasting his away. Consumed with grief, but too numb to do anything about it, he remained in a state of conscious catatonia. He was there, but no one could truly reach him.

Sasuke's death had caused much heartache amongst the village, but even rolled together, it couldn't compare in the slightest to the weight Naruto held in his heart. He was the cause of the raven's death. If he hadn't said such repulsive things, Sasuke wouldn't have killed himself. If he hadn't given in to his selfish desires and chosen lust over love, the fight wouldn't have even happened.

"_It wasn't your fault. It was his choice, not yours. He's the one in control of his life, and he was the one who was stupid enough to think that the situation was to the degree of death," Naruto refused these almost clinical words. In some way, they were right, but there was absolutely no justification that could have stopped the blonde from shouldering all the guilt._

His tired state getting the better of him, Naruto closed his eyes and fell back onto the soft bed below him. A weary sadness gripped his heart; one that was done with crying and physically expressing any signs of despair. This sadness left him feeling far more empty and alone than before, and he wished for yet another innumerable time that everything was back to when things were peachy. It seemed he was haunted and couldn't escape the past, but he didn't really want to leave the past, either. "I miss you,"

_A contentedly sleepy, blonde idiot was smiling softly as he melted under the feeling of his hair being caressed by a tender hand. "Hey, Sasuke," he murmured, voice husky from being ready to sleep. A gaze, as equally tender as the hand, if not more, sent him a silent, yet curious glance in answer to being called. "Sing for me,"_

Sasuke's talented, velvet voice played not only in dialogue, but in song too, through the blonde's vulnerable mind. He couldn't stop himself from hanging on to a ghostly memory, and he hung on as if in apology for being so unfaithful before. He would prove, with the rest of his living days, that he could and would be faithful and true to the one he came to love.

Unconsciously, as his body sunk back into the first stages of sleep, his soft voice murmured a promise, "Good night, Sasuke. I'll see you later."


End file.
